Effective Communication
In your role
as a soccer coach, you need to communicate effectively with a lot of different
people: your players, parents, grandparents, officials, other coaches,
association directors, etc…
All of them have
different agendas and need communicating with in different ways.
The
Players
Communication with
your players goes far beyond simply giving them instruction. If you took a
communications class in high school or college you will remember that more than
50% of communication is non-verbal. Facial expressions and tone of voice also
convey a great deal of the communication. Leave the sarcasm at home! Players
may place a great deal of importance on anything you may say or do, possibly
more than what their parents’ may say or do. Also, although it can be tough
with 12 jabbering kids, try to listen to each one, allowing each one to talk in
turn.
A few pointers:
1. Talk to
the players' on their level, both physically and emotionally. This may mean
getting down on one knee and looking into their eyes as you communicate. Use
simple, direct statements that will be less likely to be misinterpreted.
2. Don't wear
sunglasses on the practice or game field. Players need to make eye contact with
you to fully understand the communication.
3. Be
positive, honest and sincere with your players. When trying to correct a
particular skill problem, it can be advantageous to make the mistake yourself,
and then point out your own shortcomings. Players will respect a coach that is
honest. Be positive: constant ‘nagging’ will only ‘turn off’ your players’.
4. Tell them
what you want to tell them, tell them again, and them tell them once more. Try
to reword your communication each time. This will give you a much better chance
of getting the communication across with ALL the players.
5. Be loud
enough that all players can hear you, but don’t scream at them. Clearly
understood voice communication will get their attention and your respect. TIP: In one-on-one communication, a whisper may serve
the purpose and be much more effective than a normal or loud voice.
The Parents
After your initial
parents meeting you may or may not have a great deal of contact with the
players’ parents. If a parent should contact you during the season, you should…
1. Listen
2. Listen
3. Listen
They may be concerned about their child’s skill
development. I.e. "Johnny makes a lot of goals, but my kid…". Just be
positive about their child’s development unless you too have a concern that
there may be a medical or physical condition that needs attention.
They may think you’re a lousy coach, or you just
haven’t developed a relationship with their child. If they're wrong, try to
rectify the miss-communication, but not at the expense of the team. It could
just be the parents or child’s problem, and you probably can’t "fix
it".
Finally,
if you need to talk to a parent, do it after a practice or game where you can
speak to them without children being present. Sometimes a phone call or e-mail
will work just as well.
The Officials
Maybe it works for
Alex Ferguson, but it won’t work for you. Yelling at or disagreeing with the
coaches will solve little during a game. What it will do is show your players
that you are disrespectful of the officials, and they will tend to do the same.
If there was clearly a bad decision, bring it up after the game with the
official or later at a specially called meeting.
The
"Other" Coaches
Make an effort to seek out and greet the other coach before the game. By
establishing an acquaintance, you may be able to accomplish more together than
alone. For example, at the first game of the season, you may have some new
players that can’t play an entire half. It is very likely he has the same
situation. So the coaches decide to have ‘unlimited or free’ substitution. Like
the official is going to argue with BOTH of you! I don’t think so. In most
associations that tend to be non-competitive, the two coaches can then
determine the best use of the rules for "THIS" game.
How should you coach your child's team?
Here's some advice on that topic, gleaned from comments by Sports Illustrated
For Kids readers.
10. Know the game. So, you think your son or daughter will be delighted
to have you for a coach just because it means you can spend some "quality
time" together? Wrong! If you don't know what you're talking about on the
field or the court-and you don't make the effort to learn -- they would rather
you just stay home.
9. Listen to your players. Kids like to feel respected. Yes, you need to
establish your authority -- to keep both kids and parents in line -- but
players are people too. "My mom listens to us and our ideas. That's why
she's a great coach," wrote one kid.
8. Don't play favorites. For most kids, being the coach's pet is bad
enough; being one just because of bloodlines is unbearable. On the other hand,
no child wants to be singled out for extra harsh treatment because Dad's the
coach. As hard as it may be at times, treat your child like any other player.
"Nobody is more important than anyone else," wrote a child in an SI
For Kids readers' poll.
7. Get everyone in the game. All kids like to win. But more than
winning, kids like to play. Make sure all of your players get plenty of playing
time and opportunities to try different positions.
6. Make it fun, Part I. The No. 1 reason kids play sports is to have
fun. You can help. Turn repetitive drills into good-humored contests. Make
games exciting, not terrifying. Treat the team to pizza or ice cream after a
game now and then.
5. Make it fun, Part II. Enjoy yourself. Kids don't want to feel like a
burden. "My dad's a great coach because he always has a good time,"
one child reported.
4. Don't baby them. No kid wants to do 100 sit-ups or run 50 laps, but
players expect the coach to make them do whatever they need to do to be ready
for the game.
3. Be a teacher. Kids play sports for fun, but if they don't improve,
they'll eventually get bored or frustrated, and perhaps quit. Help them learn
skills, rules, and strategy so that they can maximize their abilities.
2. Act your age. It's embarrassing for kids when their parents argue
with officials and yell obscenities. It's even worse when the parent is the
coach. Keep your anger in check and your language decent.
1. Care -- but not too much. Kids want their activities to be taken
seriously, but not too seriously. "She did not care if I won or lost"
and "He's not too emotional" were the most common reasons kids gave
for why their mom or dad was a great coach.